Just start!!! Your kids are watching your every move!

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Where do I begin? What is it that I am actually trying to accomplish? Can I really do this? Why should I even bother? I ask myself these same questions ALL THE TIME. It's scary to do something new. Especially if what you are doing goes outside of the norms of your environment, family, culture, or all of the above.

When I was growing up there were no writers. The kids in my neighborhood didn't do anything like that. The only type of writing that didn't have to do with schoolwork was writing raps and at that time you just did it for fun. There was no clear blue print. Now with the internet, all the information that you need can be found in an instant. Or you were "a school kid" and your only job was to get good grades. That in itself carried alot of weight and expectations. There weren't a lot of fathers around in my neighborhood. That's just the way that it was and it seemed normal. At that age, while I loved my father to the moon and back, I didn't appreciate what it meant that not only was my father part of the household, he was involved.

Like most adults, I stopped thinking my father had superpowers long ago. But that doesn't mean he ever stopped being my hero. I am constantly looking for ways to teach, to influence, to inspire my children and many times I think about moments with my father. My father is not an educated man. His official schooling stopped at the eighth grade level. He stole, was arrested, and was part of several Bronx street gangs in the 60s and 70s. I don't say this to show that my dad is a badass. (Though my dad could totally beat up your dad!😁 ) I say these things to show how easily he could've stayed down the wrong path. This is a man that made a conscious effort to be different. All he saw in his childhood was violence, thievery, drugs etc. His father wasn't around to show him better. So he decided that he would be better for me and my siblings.

My father would tell me about his past, even when I was very young. Some might think that as being inappropriate. It definitely was at times, but growing up in the same streets that he did, he wanted me to be prepared so I could make better choices. He would tell me that no one ever talked to him, no one ever showed him what to do or how to be a man. He would say, "Don't be like me, bro. I got no education. I did a lot of dumb shit and I have to bust my ass every day to make sure that our family is always taken care of. You got to be better."

He and my mother (who, along with my wife, is one of the strongest women I know) struggled. They worked their asses off. While I didn't see it at the time, because I was a dumb kid getting into my own dumb shit, our situation in life was steadily improving.

My mother worked as a seamstress working 10 hour days and then bringing extra work home to make a little bit more money on top of cooking, cleaning, and making sure everyone was prepared for the following day. My dad usually had two jobs. I don't mean he had a full-time job and a part-time job, no. He had two full-time jobs. And he did this for a couple of years. I watched him clean floors. I watched him fix toilets. I watched him take out trash and I have watched him become a self-taught handyman. At one point he even built an icy cart that he would push around through the summer to make us some extra cash. Then when I was 14, between the connections that he and my mother had made, he was able to land a job as a superintendent in a building in another part of the Bronx. Now that might not sound like much, but being a superintendent in the city is still one of the most coveted jobs for a blue-collar worker. You get a free apartment with all utilities paid and a paycheck in order to manage and fix up an apartment building. If it wasn't for him and my mother making that move, I never would have met my wife and I would have an empty life because of it. They continued to grind, making sure that me and my 6 siblings were taken care of. We had great childhoods because of their hard work. Throughout it all, my father never stopped being there for me. Never stopped giving me advice, and most importantly, never stopped showing me his love.

Eventually, they were able to fulfill their dream of buying a home in Florida. They took a risk. They left an established life to start all over again in hopes of a better one. I was already 21 at the time and I needed to follow my own path. But my younger siblings were able to get the full benefit of that choice. It's been 20 years since that move. My mother is retired. They own several properties and live comfortably in a house that they had custom built. My father still works hard. But he works hard as the director of maintenance in a nursing facility. When he first landed the position, he told me, "Yo bro, I got no education and I did a lot of dumb shit, but look what I was able to do." Yes, I see what he was able to do.

So in trying to be the best father that I can be and set the best examples for my children, I think about him. I am following my dream of being a writer and making sure that my children are part of the process. Because if a man that came from very little can do so much, there's no excuse for any of us. Whatever it is you have in you to do, do it. You may not think they are, but our children are always watching. They watch every move we make. So start!

I love you, Pop! I see you!